dear erika,

Your Question: Ummm Im not exactly sure how to tell my mom i got my period cause she has no clue i know anything about this kind of stuff?????HELP

OK. This is going to take a pretty big stretch of the imagination, but try to picture this: Before your mom was your mom, or married, or had her first job or moved away from home, she likely went out on dates with guys, attended high school dances with her friends, went to football games, was part of the pep squad, or, from time to time, probably even did stuff her parents told her not to do (like eating ice cream in her room or maybe even sneaking out of the house).

Bottom line: Your mom is more than just your mom; she's a woman in her own right, who went through the same stuff you're going through at some point in time. And although it may have been forever ago, she remembers getting her first period and having to talk to her mom about it as well. SO, as much as you might think she has no clue that you know about periods and how our bodies change, try to keep a big-picture perspective and realize that she probably knows you know.

Now to the nitty-gritty -- telling your mom that you've gotten your period. Here, you'll have to use all the knowledge you have about your mom and how she operates. Is she a reserved, private lady who doesn't like to talk about sex or anatomy? Is she a girl's girl who loves to dish over popcorn and corny flicks? No matter what her manner, take stock of your mom's MO and find a private time and way to tell her that appeals to her sensibility. For example, if your mom is a straight-shooting, no-nonsense lawyer, simply drop the news when the two of you are in the car on the way to the mall. If she is always asking about your life and is constantly trying to find time to spend with you, suggest a hang-out session, in which you tell her what's up. Or if she -- and you -- simply aren't that communicative these days, you can always get a convo started by adding "pads" or "tampons" on the grocery list and letting her come to you.

Regardless, while it might seem like a dreadful chat to have, the sooner you get it out, the better connection you AND your mom will be able to make and the easier it will be to talk about this stuff in the future -- not to mention the faster you can get on with the more fun things in life, like planning your desperately important back-to-school wardrobe strategy.

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Erika Stalder is a San Francisco-based writer who contributes to "Wired" and "Edutopia" magazines and worked with the International Museum of Women to produce the "Imagining Ourselves" anthology. She wrote Zest Books' The Date Book also coauthored 97 Things to Do Before You Finish High School .