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dear stayteen,
Posted Tue, 07/07/2009 - 19:00 — secret life advice
I've been going out with this guy and he wants to have sex. I want to do it but im scared. I've told him yes but he wants to do it WITHOUT portection. What should I do???
Dear Reader:
You should NEVER have sex without protection, unless you and your partner are both actively trying to get pregnant and start a family. Any guy who wants to have sex with you without it obviously doesn’t care about you or your future or your feelings, and is probably not the kind of guy you should be intimate with. YOU are the boss here. YOU are the one who is in control of your body. You need to protect yourself – from unplanned pregnancy and from STDs.
Also, if you’re scared then you’re probably not ready for sex, which is totally okay. Sex shouldn’t be scary and if you feel like it is then you’re not ready or it’s the wrong guy. Being fearful is the way your body and mind tell you something’s wrong – so listen to yourself. Someday you will be ready and someday it will be the right guy and you’ll know because it will feel comfortable and right.
Even if you’ve said “yes” you can still change your mind and say “no.” In fact, even if you’ve done it before or you’ve done it with another guy, but you don’t want to do it again or with this guy – you can say “no.” Remember, this is YOUR decision – no one else gets to decide if and when you have sex. It is your body and you decision.
Have a question? Click to ask here!
Discussion blogs and guides provided by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.
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Does it feel good? i heard that.
if you dont want to use protection then dont have sex if you are ready then have sex. i am ready for sex but i dont know if my boyfriend is ready what should i do
~Taylor~
Addis
just say no! no protection then no! && should wait until u r married! the same thing that happen to amy happened to my friend! but no band camp! & now she is pregant!! so pls say no! pls wait! if u do every have sex pls use protection! but rather u wait!
just say no! no protection then no! && should wait until u r married! the same thing that happen to amy happened to my friend! but no band camp! & now she is pregant!! so pls say no! pls wait! if u do every have sex pls use protection! but rather u wait!
u should not have sex it is bad.Look at the show american teenager she had a baby.She is reragting it everday for havein sex so dont do untill ur married :"(
~Ilovescott~
Ok, since i helped you with your problem..i'm new to this and dont know how to post one of these things...maybe you can help me with mine...what do you do when you feel bad after doing sexual things with your partner..it feels so right at the moment but then when your done you cant believe what you just did? I'm confused im such a good girl but these things im doing feel so wrong...
dnt tell me we're in the same shoes. Im a 4.0 student and my parents trust me everytime im out with my boyfriend. i dnt misbehave ever!!!! but with my man i love him to death and when things start to get intimate wwellllll it happens. and i totally enjoy it cuz it feels so right and every moment im with him i just need to be closer. and i wnt lie i dnt regret anything that has happenned between us. the only thing is my family believes the whole waiting til after ur married and i mean i have a whole future up ahead of me. but this is why i decided to use the pill and a condom everytime sex does occur. so this is on u. but if u love him and i mean ur planning on it then just be responsible and 100% sure with things i know how u feel...guilty. but i still dnt regret a thing.
ohneice
Not cool. he should never even think of such an idea unless hes married, in a commited relationship, n has a stable job. i think your forgetting not only is it more of a risk to hurt you physically but emotionally as well..having a kid takes money, time, patience, sleepless nights, support, and lots of love. And prolly about 75% of the guys get what they want then bounce. So if your going to not use protection at least wait till your older and have a stable lifestyle n see if he sticks around after you make the decision NOT to do what he wants you too..
Don't have sex without protection it can lead to u getting pregnant and u having an std. Im in the same boat u r in a guy i used to go out wit still wants to have sex with me but just the other day I realized the guy I am with now wont hurt me and is really in love with me so I told the guy that justs wants to have sex wit me, we can only be friends so plz either tell him u guys aren't going to have sex until u r ready or just tell him u cant deal wit his pushing and move on its ur choice u have to take charge in ur life so hunny take back wats rightly urs
ricky + amy + john = happy family
patrick + kat = love
damon + emily = cute couple
if u no u not supposed to be havin sex dont most of u get to much t.v or r put under preasure or u just like that but im going to be honest i get the urge to but im still waiting till im 18 or older SEX ISNT YOUR LIFE
L3XAPOO
and why would he not wanna use protection?
xoxo,
meg
i need help im in love with this guy and he nos o like him but should i tell him i love him or shopuld i play it cool till he comes to my party or should i email him or call him
u should play cool and ask him out when u r ready
live your own life
how do u have sex? and what is protection?
ily jr mh ac
well how old are you
if u dont no wat sex is then u shouldnt be on this website cuz wen i found out i wanted it so bad the urge is like wen u see a commercial on tv and u really want that thing so bad and u almost think ur gonna die without it well dont and protction is a thing for guys 2 use so the girl doesnt get pregnant so ask ur mom if u really want to know how 2 have sex cuz i guarentee u no one here is gonna tell u especially me
this what you sould do 1.take birth control or 2. tell him that your not gonna bang him with out a condom or 3.DONT HAVE SEX IF YOU DONT WANT TO!!
Does it hurt to have sex?
if it your first time
melody
really (
DON"T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!! he is a total i-d-i-o-t if he thinks there will not be reprocussions! If you want a baby, an STD, or even something worse, then who's stopping you....if not.....JUST SAY NO! You should not even have to ask for advice, it is extremely stupid to consider anything of the sort. He probably doesn't like you all that much , a real guy would be willing to wait. The ugly truth is that most guys are just looking for SOME, and not SOMEONE.
softballA13:check-boom!!
Unprotected sex is EXTREMELY dangerous!
If I were you, I wouldn't do it.
Think of the consequences..
Pregnancy is A LOT of work hun. Is it really worth it?
Honestly, if he cares about you, he will wait, or use protection.
Don't have unprotected sex, better yet, don't have sex at all.
Tay (:
thats ridiculous!!!
no protection?
I KNOW!
go on birth control... for atleast a month before then...
well maybe you can stil have sex?
but then condoms protect you from stds so...
always use protection.
unless you want a child.
and your too young to have a child.
You should never have sex without pertection unless you are old enough and wantin a baby. its bad enough to have sex at a young age than havin it without pertection. if i was you i would tell him no for one you are not for sure you want to do it and for two you both are young and dont need a kid.
I LOVE MY DAUGHTER AND MAN!!!
ok....i know how you feel...sex is somthing really big...and the only reason a guy would have unproteced sex before you are ready is if he doesnt care about you...and you seem iffy about sex in the first place..if he really loves you he will at least use protection and if he still cant respect you then you should really rethink things...but it is your chioce and dont be forced in to somthing that you arent readly for...if he loves you he will respect your wishes and use proection...or he will wait till you are ready to go with out....if he is 100% there for you he will respect you....idk if any of that made sence but just take time to think dont rush it...hope things go well..i will be praying for you....
~~~~~secret life lover!~~~i <3 how this show describes my life~~~~
Dear stayteen,
first if u scared to have sex than u not emotional ready...
second that having unprotected sex is bad....cause u can get disease..
NOTE: before u have sex with anyone to have a HIV test....
i really hope that u think about that before u do it...
from: sammy
dont do it without protection. u can get pregnant
melody
Do not have sex with this boy. Even if you've told him yes already, you can always change your mind. It doesn't sound like he really cares about how you feel, he has pressured you into having sex before your ready, and now on top of that he's trying to pressure you into having sex without protection? He sounds like a bad guy to me, you should tell him that you don't want to have sex with him yet, and when you decide you're ready then you will be using PROTECTION. If he doesn't like it then I would say to break up with him. Only you know what's right for you, but it doesn't sound like this guy is
THAT IS A BIG NO NO U SHOULD TELL HI THAT IF HE REALLY CARES AND WANTS TO HAVE SEX THAT HE WOULD USE PROTECTION TRUST ME MY MOM HAD SEX HER FIRST TIME WIT NO PROTECTION N GUESS WAT HERE I AM LOL SO UNLESS U WANT THE SAMETHING I THINK U HOULD USE PROTECTION
y3$$!
Dont have sex without protection its not worth it u could get pregnanat and then u guys could break up. tell him if he really loves u and is ready to have sex he should use protection.
;)Kayleigh(:
He's using you. If he wants your skin, he's using you. Especially if you're not married. I would walk away from the situation. He obviously doesn't know the possible risks that are in effect. Before you do it, think twice. You're only a teenager...you have plenty of time.
Courtney<3
WELL FIRST THINGS FIRST IF YOU IS NOT READY AND YOU TOLD HIM YOU NOT AND HE IS STILL ASKING THEN HE IS NOT THE ONE FOR YOU. SECONDLY IF YOU ARE READY THEN AND YOU IS POSTIVE YOU READY THEN IM PRETTY SURE THE SCARINESS WELL GO AWAY BUT LASTLY IF HE DONT WANT 2 USE PROTECTION THEN TELL HIM NO DONT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING YOU DONT WANT TO DO BECAUSE HAVING SEX ONE TIME CAN CAUSE YO UR LIFE SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN SO PLEASE PUT UR FOOT DOWN AND TELL HIM ITS EITHER WITH PROTECTION OR YOU DONT GET NOTHING (BUT BE SURE U IS REALLY READY B4 YOU MAKE THAT BIG STEP)
Scribble: MZ.SiNnabuNnz
if this guy doesn't respect u, ur body, or ur decisions, then drop him. he's not good boyfriend material. the same thing happened 2 my best friend sam, her boyfriend wanted the same thing and she let him have wut he wanted (they had only been going out 4 a week and a half). she had her babies a week ago and now she has to take care of baby stacy and ryan (both girls) w/ no help wutsoever!!! her "boyfriend" dumped her the day after they had sex!!! its honestly not worth it!!!
live 2 watch secret life....... watch secret life 2 live.
perfect family=amy+ricky+john (ben has g2g)
don't have sex without protection! I am 14 years old & I had sex 4 the 1st time about 3 months ago, everything was fine the first time. So we decided to have sex again. I've missed my period this month & i did experience so light spotting a few days after having sex. I'm scared I might be pregnant, what should I do?
-Hannerz:)
Get a test!
I'm 18 and I just had a baby about a month ago and it's really not that bad! I'm an only child and so my boyfriend moved in with me and my parents since we have tons of room! Being pregnant was hard though :/ I would tell your parents first, I made the mistake of telling my friends first and it got around to my parents before I could tell them. They were more mad about that then me actually being pregnant! Its hard but worth it in the end. I'm here if you need more advice
Do what u feel is right. I mean do u even want 2 have sex? But use protection!!!!!!!!
-rock 96-
My sister Margaret allowed her boyfriend to not use protection while they were having sex. The first few times nothing happened. Then, after they`d been haing sex for about a month, she started getting morning sickness and other signs of pregnancy. She and I are really close so she told me first but made me promise not to tell, which made me feel trapped. If there is something wrong with someone you love it`s natural to want to do something. But I couldn`t. It wasn`t my secret to tell. In the third month of Margarets pregnancy I finally convinced her to tell our parents. They were shocked and a bit angry when they found out but still helped her. In May she had her daughter, Alyssa, and judging by what she said, labor is one of the greatest pains on earth. I love my niece but having a baby in the house all the time is exausting. Even though it`s my sisters baby, we are all obliged to help. My purpose of telling you this story is to show you where unprotected sex got her. A single teenage mom whose exboyfriend wants nothing to do with his daughter. She is stuck at home all the time carring for Alyssa and can`t go out with her friends anymore. Trust me, this is not how you want to spend your teenage years.
if he wants to do it without protection. tell him no way. unless he wants to be taking care of a baby. not saying that you would necessarily get pregnant but what if you do?
~JEN~
There are two things to consider here, the first being if you are ready to have sex at all. Everyone is ready at different times, some in high school, and some later on. If you are not 100% positive, DON'T. Sex is going to be something special for you, and you don't want to be like a lot of my high school friends who look back and wish they had waited a little longer or for someone more special. If you are ready for sex, then protection is a must. A baby is a commitment you are not ready to make at your age, and if you do not use some form of birth control then you ARE actively trying to get pregnant. Equally important is something no one has discussed as far as I can tell, and that is, even if you are on birth control pills or something, you need to be protected from all the diseases out there. You don't want to risk AIDS or siphilis, etc. for a one night stand with a high school guy. Period.
do what you feel is right, if he's presering you into having sex and you don't want to, don't.
BE SAFE AND BE SMART
it took me four months of unprotected sex to get pregnant but you never want to chance it. I actually wanted a baby, but you might now. Tell him how you feel and tell him that you want some kind of protection or not at all.
Lynn
having a baby no matter what age is a gift, but make sure the guy you want to have sex with really loves you and that you both want to spend the rest of your lives together. i stayed a virgin for 21 years so when i got married at 21 that was the first time i had sex and he first time too, and now im going to have his baby and he is very excited. it only takes one time to get pregnant and a life time to take care of a child so make the right choice.
My sister Margaret allowed her boyfriend to not use protection while they were having sex. The first few times nothing happened. Then, after they`d been haing sex for about a month, she started getting morning sickness and other signs of pregnancy. She and I are really close so she told me first but made me promise not to tell, which made me feel trapped. If there is something wrong with someone you love it`s natural to want to do something. But I couldn`t. It wasn`t my secret to tell. In the third month of Margarets pregnancy I finally convinced her to tell our parents. They were shocked and a bit angry when they found out but still helped her. In May she had her daughter, Alyssa, and judging by what she said, labor is one of the greatest pains on earth. I love my niece but having a baby in the house all the time is exausting. Even though it`s my sisters baby, we are all obliged to help. My purpose of telling you this story is to show you where unprotected sex got her. A single teenage mom whose exboyfriend wants nothing to do with his daughter. She is stuck at home all the time carring for Alyssa and can`t go out with her friends anymore. Trust me, this is not how you want to spend your teenage years.
i had sex for the first time almost a month ago nd once again since then, i didnt make my boyfriend use a condom, so we used no protection at all....like i said its been almost a month since then nd now i missed me period nd i still havent gotten it....i also have other symptoms that are making me think i might be pregnant, but i dont even have money to buy a test so i really dont know. im only 16, i should have never had unprotected sex with him cuz now i could be pregnant, nd im not even with that guy anymore. basically what im trying to say is dont do it, if ur going to have sex with him, tell him you want him to use protection or else you not having sex with him...otherwise, u could end up like me worrying that ur pregnant...just be smart, i wasnt.....
i would tell my friends and ask them if they could loan you some money for a pregnancy test if they are good friends they will loan you the money
USE protection! As a single teenage mom myself, I can honestly tell you if you do anything at all (which you shouldn't) you wanna use protection! If a Guy/Or let me say BOY wants to have unsafe sex, he truthfully doesn't care for u or u're body!!!
wow he needs to relize u have a say in it to and he is lucky u said yes