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dear stayteen,
Posted Thu, 07/16/2009 - 12:28 — secret life advice
okay i am in love with my boyfriend and im ready to take it to tha next level aka have sex with him but i dont know how to tell him because he wanted to have sex so many times befor but when we was about to i said no because im also scared that i may get pregant and he wants me to have a baby with him. and now he's in north cariolina for a little bit and im wanting to tell him i want to have sex but not wanting to get pregant but it's not coming out my mouth... how should i tell him???
From,
scared-in-maryland-1221-0504
Dear scared-in-maryland-1221-0504:
First of all, it’s great that you know you’re not ready to get pregnant and have a baby. Pregnancy and parenthood are really serious – they change your whole life and the lives of everyone around you, forever. If your guy wants you to have a baby with him but you don’t want that, then you might be with the wrong guy. It’s really important that the person you’re intimate with take your feelings into consideration. Having a baby and starting a family should be something you do when both people are ready and committed to each other and to their family. Your feelings about this have to matter as much, if not more, than his do.
If you’re having trouble talking about how you feel about all this with your boyfriend, then you’re not ready to take your relationship to the “next level.” That’s totally okay. You shouldn’t feel like you need to rush into anything – especially sex! – until you are 100% ready and comfortable with it.
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IM HAVING SEX USING PROTECTION AND TAKING THE PILL AND IM MADLY IN LOVE WE TALK ABOUT CONSEQUENCES ANYTHING.........EVEN THROW HARSH JOKES AT EACH OTHER WIT OUT GETTIN HURT BUT I FEEL GUILTY SINCE MY FAMILY BELIEVE IN SEX AFTER MARRIAGE AND TRUST US SINCE IMA 4.0 STUDENT AND HIS MATURE AND RESPONSIBLE I LOVE HIM TO DEATH HE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME I DNT REGRET ANYTHING I HAVE DONE BECAUSE I WAITED AND I KNEW HE WAS THE ONE MY BODY KNEW IT. IM HAPPY WITH MY DECISION BUT UPSET TO PUT MY PARENTS DOWN.
ohneice
This is really stupid. A lot of you uys just dont get it..
Understand this..Please.
Any guy you are not married to is not worth having sex with.
I am sixteen years old and have a two month old baby.
My life is VERY similar to Amy's and is very stressful.
I love my baby, but once you have sex it ruins the relationship whether you see it or not.
And yeahh. The daddy told me he loved me.
Until I told him he was having a baby...Then he left me..
Don't have sex. Even if you use protection or are on birth control.
Waiting feels much more better anyways.
Marissa<33
( PLEASE READ THIS I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! (
ok me and my bf has been goin out for a mounth maybe alittle more but its been through textin and phone calls.i told my parents about him and they said they wanted to meet him but they don kno his past or mine and his past.he has had sex b4 and broke up with his gf 4 me after i told hm i still liked/loved him on the last 2 days of school.me and him went out 4 a mounth b4 then i broke up with him but my mom didnt kno bout him till 3 days b4 i broke up with him so thats how long she thinks i went out with him b4.also she thinks he broke up with his gf 2 weeks b4 the last day of school not the day b4 the last day of school.my bf knows bout this and he cool with it.he cool with alot of stuff even me waitin 4 my first time but we talk bout it all the time he told me eveyhing bout his sex life and we evn tel each other bout sex dreams were havin.im scared wen he comes back from GA on the 9th i wont b able to stay a virgin cuz i love him.im also scared bout all the secrets and stuff and the sex details like wat i should look like my cuz said i should shave but i hate to shave there i only "groom".im also only 15.PLEASE HELP ME IM CONFUSED ABOUT ALOT OF STUFF IN THIS RELATIONSHIP HELP ME ANY ADVICE WOULD BE HELPFUL.
okkkkkkkkkkkay first of all shave! trust me on that one.n ya it does sound like ur gonna give it up if u guys r talking like this but r u ready?????????????? NOT JUST FOR SEX EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.R U ALSO READY FOR CONSEQUENCES? I RECOMMEND BEFORE HAVING SEX TAKE TIME TO TALK ABOUT ANY "WHAT IF'S" HAPPENNED.
ohneice
dont do it if u even think a little bit that u r not ready!
Addis
Stop posting this everywhere. No one can even understand what you wrote to give you advice.
( PLEASE READ THIS I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! (
ok me and my bf has been goin out for a mounth maybe alittle more but its been through textin and phone calls.i told my parents about him and they said they wanted to meet him but they don kno his past or mine and his past.he has had sex b4 and broke up with his gf 4 me after i told hm i still liked/loved him on the last 2 days of school.me and him went out 4 a mounth b4 then i broke up with him but my mom didnt kno bout him till 3 days b4 i broke up with him so thats how long she thinks i went out with him b4.also she thinks he broke up with his gf 2 weeks b4 the last day of school not the day b4 the last day of school.my bf knows bout this and he cool with it.he cool with alot of stuff even me waitin 4 my first time but we talk bout it all the time he told me eveyhing bout his sex life and we evn tel each other bout sex dreams were havin.im scared wen he comes back from GA on the 9th i wont b able to stay a virgin cuz i love him.im also scared bout all the secrets and stuff and the sex details like wat i should look like my cuz said i should shave but i hate to shave there i only "groom".im also only 15.PLEASE HELP ME IM CONFUSED ABOUT ALOT OF STUFF IN THIS RELATIONSHIP HELP ME ANY ADVICE WOULD BE HELPFUL.
do not i repeat NOT have sex with him if you're not ready. if he say that he ready and wants you to have a baby with him he just lying his a.s.s off. he just trying to get you pregnant so that you'll be history. plus having a baby is s lot of stress to put in your relationship
melody
well as a teen mom im 15 have a 2yr old.. rasing a baby is nt easy yea sex is great who doesnt love it.......
but if your not ready you should wait.... you cant like sex untill you are mentally ready for it or else you'll just feel guilty....
sweetie my bf said the same thing. all you need to do is explain that a baby would put alot of stress on the relationship and you should wait untill you can support it together.
don't do anything that your don't want to do just because his ready to have sex doesn't mean your ready and if you have sex and get pregnant your go to hate him for pushing you into have sex.
ricky + amy + john = happy family
patrick + kat = love
damon + emily = cute couple
is it love or lust honey!
is he in it for the sex?
are you nin it for the sex?
cause if thats it....
you'll end up like adrian.
lost and alone
wishing and hoping
he will come and say he wants all of you.
and if your ready to take the chance
go ahead just be safe and ready for any
consiquence coming your way!
peace love and happiness.
Miz York!
u don't want to have sex! thats all im saying!!
i know how you feel u want it but u dont want to have a baby just because u want to have sex. i would tell him face to face and have a open discussion and if u still choose to have sex without haveing to have a baby USE PROTECTION! i know u hear it all the time but pregnacy isnt 100% proventive if ur going to have sex. And take extra procautions use condoms and talk to a doctor about birth control! because trust me it may be great but once u have a baby if ur not ready it will ruin the experienc forever!
GOOD LUCK!
◘♦katie-lynn♦◘
i know how you feel u want it but u dont want to have a baby just because u to have sex
. i would tell him face to face and have a open discussion and if u still choose to have sex without haveing to have a baby USE PROTECTION! i know u hear it all the time but pregnacy isnt 100% proventive if ur going to have sex. And take extra procautions use condoms and talk to a doctor about birth control! because trust me it may be great but once u have a baby if ur not ready it will ruin the experienc forever!
GOOD LUCK!
◘♦katie-lynn♦◘
i would just tell him that you dont want to get pregnant but you wanna have sex. but tell him like in person, when its just you and him. and make him feel comfy before you tell him. and how old are you?!
crystal.gene.
look if you dont want to have a baby use protection. BUT USE IT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!. if you dont them you will end up like me......PREGNANT. and it doesnt feel good knowing that you are having a baby young. maybe you should wait atleast until your sure that he knows how to use it right. or maybe like that girl that said not until she's married. pleas just take my advice because you do not want to end up prego
HOW DID U MISUSE UR PROTECTION? (MISSING PILLS, BAD TIMING, OR CONDOM ISSUES)
ohneice
Hey i knoe how tough it must be for you. I completely sympethise... Dont worry im sure when the baby gets here it will be a pleasure beyond anything but till then have faith and hold on to those that love you... Feels good to know that random ppl all around the world care abt you rite like me.... (2901303 )
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<3 Hi john, daddys here, I love you <3 !!! - Ricky the hottest thing on the planet...
tell him to use protection or no sex at all my friend is 12 and she hase had sex and im afraid she is going to get pregnat wat should i do
just tell ur friend that u care about her and shes not probablly ready (meantally) to have sex and have A BABY! tell her to think before they do it again tell her all the concecuences about getting pregnant what you'll lose and gain. all the stuff at or after school that she wont be able to do and just let her know u dont want to lose your life at 12 years old. trust me i was twelve last year and truthfully it was probablly 1 of the best years of my life so far. and hey shes only 12. thats really young to be having sex.trust me my friends have wanted to have sex with their bfs but i convinced them out of it cuz i really care bout them nd dont want them to mess up their life. hope u know what to do/tell her now
-Ricky<333 A.K.A Daren Kagasoff <33333
"Hi, John. Daddy's here... I love you." <333
y the heck did she have sex at 12 that is wrong i dont think God wants kids 2 raise kids but tell her 2 get a test then i fits positive tell her 2 tell her mom then go to the doctor but dont get an abortion wat ev u dont get an abortion thats wrong so its illegal 2 kill a child teen or adult but not a baby thts worng so get her a test
I am 13 and have only ever been friends with guys but i do knoe loads of ppl my age or abt who do it and suffer... Please dont be insensitive to this 12 year old.... I knoe where shes coming from when sumtimes you just do it cause every1 else is... But still i wish she had nt.. Hope shes not prego.... I knoe im no help but all i can say is "Grow up kid before you are ready to have ur own"- Awise Lady but not in those words....
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<3 Hi john, daddys here, I love you <3 !!! - Ricky the hottest thing on the planet...
i know where ur comin from girl i would just say hey i wanna have sex with you but use a condom so ya go for it depending on ur age i am oldish and ive never so much as kissed a dude... yet i love by bf too but im still youngish and i wouldnt ever have sex until im married
hope that helped
ily jr mh ac
I totally agree.
And its the right thing to do too. 
Amy & Ricky 4-eve
if you want to have sex go for it but tell him to use proctection because you dont want to have a baby you are the one that goes true the pain if you have a baby this is just my opinion think of your self before anyone else do what you think is best
ok if u want to have sex tell him but dont have a baby until your ready it doesnt matter if hes ready cause your the one that has to go true the pain!!
!~BLONDIE~!
tell him that if he wants to get you pregnate at your age then dump him because thats all guys want is sex if you want to have sex with him tell him he has to use protection
sex is not all guys what
if you are ready for it tell him! if your not just say no just becaz you know he wants to have sex dosn't mean you have to do it. think about your self before you make changes.