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dear stayteen,
Posted Thu, 07/09/2009 - 15:37 — secret life advice
What do you do when you don't know if you want to have sex but its like all your friends are doing it and they make it seem so fun.Then, somedays you want to have sex but another day you don't.
Dear Reader:
If you’re not sure you want to have sex – really, truly 100% positively sure – then you’re not ready. And there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact the majority of teenagers (boys and girls) who have had sex say they wish they’d waited longer. And it doesn’t matter if your friends are ready for sex or if they are already experienced – they aren’t you. Only you can decide what’s right for you.
It’s not like if you don’t have sex now that you’ll never have it. You will, when the time is right for you, and when you’re ready. There are lots of good reasons to wait – such as protecting your body and protecting your feelings. And when you are ready – whether that’s next week or next year or 5 years from now or more – always use protection.
We also recommend talking to your parents or another trusted adult who loves you about this to help sort out some of the emotional stuff and also so you can ask them questions about protection. Talking to a doctor about birth control options is also a smart thing to do. Finally, you should also be talking to your boyfriend/girlfriend about birth control, STDs, and where your relationship is going to make sure you both feel the same way about everything. All this can be embarrassing but it’s important. Having sex is a grown up thing and being able to talk about it is part of that grown up responsibility.
Have a question? Click to ask here!
Discussion blogs and guides provided by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.
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OK i need help im besr friends with this guy and weve none eachtother a long time im 13 and we like LOve eachother we always have oral sex and we recently had sex and we did it again ina 3 way with mY best friend now someone found out and everyone hates me except 4 my real friends my sister told my parnets i got grounded 4 like 2 weeks and alot of people are so mad about it how can i get people to get over it
<3
Ok that is so wrong doing a 3way. You guys are too young to do that cuz you might an std. Everybody hates you cuz they think you're a slut ( sorry to say that). Don't those again
melody
in other words your saying your doing it cause your friends r doin it YOUR NOT READY i mean imangine u did it .think about.after u did it life would be the same.and it makes u seem like a fallower
L3XAPOO
u shouldnt do it my mom waited 18 years after marriage to have me so shut up
ok i need help there is the boy that i love he loves me and we both are like crazy bout each other and it seems like he soo much experience he wants me to be ready but i don't know what to do
nikelover4-life be rockin dis :)*****
****love of my life and the man i love****
ranulfo+izzy
just say no unless u r ready 4 it btw the age difference matter especially is u r still a teen so i hope i helped a little
if you guys are crazy bout each other then you guys can wait. since he has experience and he crazy bout you then tell him to wait
melody
how do u have GREAT sex? :
ily jr mh ac
You have great sex by practicing a lot in a committed relationship in which the two of you can be honest and open with each other...and by committed relationship I mean someone you have been seeing a long time once you get out of high school.
wat do u mean b y great sex
hello say ppl are jumping off a bridge without a bungee cord would u do it do wat u want it sickens me though ive had that urge but i fight it think of wat othr ppl would think if u got preggo instead of using a condom or not having sex at all so i vote against it and tell ur friends that r doing it to cut it out so just shut up and cool it on the sex thing
how do u have GREAT sex?
ily jr mh ac
I hope none of you end up having sex. I dont plan on it until i am married and with someone i feel i am meant to be wiht!
<3 <3 <3
Same here i am 20 years old, 21 years in may, and i am still a virgin. I want to wait till i am married.
Same here i am 20 years old, 21 years in may, and i am still a virgin. I want to wait till i am married.
Same here i am 20 years old, 21 years in may, and i am still a virgin. I want to wait till i am married.
Same here i am 20 years old, 21 years in may, and i am still a virgin. I want to wait till i am married.
Heyy!i only 12 and i want a kid! call it puppy luv but i am goin out with this amazing guy named ryan and he doesnt no i want a kid but we both want sex sooooooooooooooooooooo wat should i do??????? please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!~Blondie~!
hi
I Know You Want A Kid But You Still A Kid. And If You Want To Be Around Kids Maybe Babysit More You Will Be Around Kids But Not Have Any Responsibilities. And For The Whole Sex Thing You Are Not Ready. If He Really Loves You Than He Will Wait With You Until You Both Are Ready. I Hope I Helped And I Know This Because I Am Your Age And Pregant With Twins And I Was At The Wrong Place At The Wrong Time So I Kinda Know How You Are Feeling Sorta But If You Or Anyone Wants To Talk You Can Reach Me At SecretLifeAmericanTeenagerInc@gmail.com Hope I Helped
**Mila**<3**
****I LOVE SECRET LIFE****.**** I AM OBSESSED WITH THE SHOW****
First off if u having second thought about having sex than that means that u not ready...
and if u just going to have sex because your friend r doing it than DONT DO IT..
Just be patient about having sex......U WILL KNOW WHEN U R READY
FROM: SAMMY
I NEED SUM HELP AND FAST!...okaii im 13 n i no its young n all but i wanna have sex w/ mah bf n so dose he n we've been thinkin bout it for along tyme n i wanted to make sure i was 1000% positive first but i we wanna do it on his b-day which is 2 weeks n lyke i just wanna no if lyke yooh think im too young n im makin a mistake or not?? n p.s. we've been together for a few yrs too! can sum1 help meh who i can relate to??! -sexully confused in ohio
- young && in love
use protection thats all i can say
you guys are waaaaaaaaaaaaay too young to have sex. but you think if you are physically and emotionally then use a condom to avoid pregnancy and all sexually transmitted diseases, but if i were you then i would wait til im marriedir you guys are still together
melody
ok wellone thing that i have to say is that condoms don't prevent pregnancy they can fall off or break i know that cuz thats what happend with my friend and it [filtered word] cuz now she has no where to go and she is having a baby in 6 months
nikelover4-life be rockin dis :)*****
****love of my life and the man i love****
ranulfo+izzy
they only break under pressure or used improperly
melody
how can it break sex isnt that violent
I know what your going through. Me and my bf have already had sex and trust me its not all that its made out to be. Sex is a big decision and once you make it you can never take it back so you need to make sure that its with the right guy and that your're 100% ready. And just because it seems like everyone else is doing it doesnt mean you have to be a sheep. Honestly i find myself regretting having sex at 15
so just do what you feel is right for you 
Hatie Khill
Dont have sex jus because your friends are doin it. i had a baby at 15 because of it. sex can be fun but not unless u are old enough and sure you are ready. if you are ready than you need to go to your parents tell them so you can be safe. although no sex is the safest haven pertection is a 100% a good thing. and if you are not a 100% sure you want to have sex than dont do it. you will poly wind up regretting it later. but only you can decide to wait til you know for sure or do it now cause your friends are doin it and wind up regretting it!
I LOVE MY DAUGHTER AND MAN!!!
dont get pressured into having sex just because all of ur friends r doing it.. i mean u shouldnt do everything ur friends do unless u really want to do it u have to be sure its ur choice. make sure ur not going to mess up ur life with risks of pregnancy just because ur friends r making it seem fun u should make sure u love the guy u r going to have sex with ur 1st time is speacial ur supposed to remember that for the rest of ur life. so be careful and make sure u choose the right decission based on ur choice..
;)Kayleigh(:
I have a friend who had sex because everyone else started to have sex. She was basically in the same situation. In her heart she thought she wasn't ready, but her mind was telling her she was ready because she felt as if everyone moved quicker than her. Well, the night she did it, she became pregnant unknowingly of the risky situation she was putting her self into. I would say, wait after you gain some knowledge, know your risks, and know what exactly to prepare for if something happens. if you don't have a good relationship with your parents, and they are strictly on the lines of pregnancy...you should think twice. i'm trying to help ya out, girl. that's why "marriage" is designed. no complications are anywhere in the range of pregnancy. you should definitely wait, in case of risks but if you think youre ready just know what Karma can do to your reputation.
Courtney<3
eward lover
Okay you need damadge controll imediately. Tell ur mom or preferably sibling who will help u tell ur mom.... Running away is just going to complicate things further but if u do wish to do some thing that is constructive them try to figure out ways to tell ur parent..
Bad Eg- Mom look what i knitted a baby scarf... How would you feel if i was prego! Well i am..
THIS TOTTALLY FREAKS PPL OUT OKAY SO DONT TRY IT.... :
Good Eg- Mom i need to speak to you i did something and do not think i made the right dission and now im in deep [filtered word] and need ur help and advise...
________________________________________________
<3 Hi john, daddys here, I love you <3 !!! - Ricky the hottest thing on the planet...
ok well don't run away cuz then you won't have no where else to go if you don't know how to tell yurr parents then tell your sister or sombody soo then u are not keeping somethig that big in and if you just did it cuz he wanted you to than he doesn't really love you and if you were ready and even if u weren't ready he should lobve you enough to wait till u were ready
nikelover4-life be rockin dis :)*****
****love of my life and the man i love****
ranulfo+izzy
dont run away it only gonna make it worse. just tell your mom and if she doesnt wanna help you and kicked you out of the house then go to a shelter for pregnant teens
melody
live 2 watch secret life....... watch secret life 2 live.
perfect family=amy+ricky+john (ben has g2g)
I NEED SUM HELP AND FAST!...okaii im 13 n i no its young n all but i wanna have sex w/ mah bf n so dose he n we've been thinkin bout it for along tyme n i wanted to make sure i was 1000% positive first but i we wanna do it on his b-day which is 2 weeks n lyke i just wanna no if lyke yooh think im too young n im makin a mistake or not?? n p.s. we've been together for a few yrs too! help meh! -sexully confused!
- young && in love
ok well talk to yurr mom not yurr dad they always understand just tell her that you are seriously thinking about it trust me the first thing they will do is go get u birth control and then they will get u condoms just say that yurr thinking about t
nikelover4-life be rockin dis :)*****
****love of my life and the man i love****
ranulfo+izzy
ok well talk to yurr mom not yurr dad they always understand just tell her that you are seriously thinking about it trust me the first thing they will do is go get u birth control and then they will get u condoms just say that yurr thinking about t
nikelover4-life be rockin dis :)*****
****love of my life and the man i love****
ranulfo+izzy
You have to tell your mama that you are preg there is no way to get around that. You need to go to the dr every month and havin support will help alot. and you cant jus run away are you goin to keep the baby?
I LOVE MY DAUGHTER AND MAN!!!
DONT LET ANY ONE PRESSURE U INTO IT..WAIT BECAUSE SO MANY THINGS CAN HAPPEN 4RM THAT ONE TIME YOU CAN END UP PREGNANT OR U AN END UP WITH A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE.SO WAIT AND IF YOU DO DECIDED 2 DO IT THEN BE 100% SURE THAT YOU WANT TO DO IT AND THAT HE IS THE ONE BECAUSE ONCES ITS GONE YOU CAN NEVER GET IT BACK. BUT DONT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU DO IT BECAUSE YOU WILL ONLY END UP REGRETING IT AND ITS NOT REALLY WORTH ALL THE TROUBLE
Scribble: MZ.SiNnabuNnz
NO DON'T DO IT! u know it may seem like every one else is doin it but they really aren't. they just say they are cause they want to look cool but having sex it's not cool it may b cool once u get marrid i mean thats what i'm doing i'm waiting untill i get married 2 have well u know!
!? and if I were u I would wait! that is something u want to do with ur one true love.not with some dude @ school or what ever i'm telling u to wait please wait! 
Dont do it unless ur 110% sure!!!
SMiLEY!=)
Yeah rite!!, its so much fun!!!!!!
enen though ive only done it once i think it is completely natural. dont be afraid to show off your stuff 
Babes you need serious help... Ok look i knoe it was fun but u might be like 1 in a hundred who found it so... The rest just die of the pressure and clear cut guilt... Frankly you need the advice... "Showing Your stuff" is serious and is you think u personally liked it u need to STOP influencing others into doing things they shouldnt its ppl like u who pressure thair friends into makig mistakes...
Let me add that I completely disaprove...
________________________________________________
<3 Hi john, daddys here, I love you <3 !!! - Ricky the hottest thing on the planet...
u r a freaking retard wat the hell u htink its ok to 'show off ur stuff' wtf ?!?! at the hell is wrong with u im sickened and im gonna show that 2 all my friend and well all give u a piece of our minds shes gonna get knocked up cuz of u u suck i loathe u stupid
melody
omg ur so freakin stupid i mean yah it may seem fun but its gonna lead 2 bad things gah u really r stupid if ur giving young gurls that advice!!!!!
!~Blondie~!
I don't think u should be giving a girl that kind of advice I mean she could end up pregnant. Just like in the show. Do u really want someone 2 go out & do it with some boy. ur not supposed 2 incur age the people on this site to do things that we shouldn't be doing @ our age. I think ur wrong 4 doing it @ ur age. Wait exactly how old r u?
Don't give the wrong advice cause then if something were 2 happen it would be all ur fault!
I agree with you i dont think she should do it!!!
SMiLEY!=)