User login
we're doing something different
regrets only?
Posted Tue, 07/07/2009 - 17:00 — The Secret Life...
Grace really wishes she hadn't had sex with Jack.
Obviously, there are special circumstances here -- losing a parent in such a shocking, tragic way is enough to shake up anybody and cause them to reevaluate a lot of things -- but the actual sentiment of teenagers regretting sex isn't all that uncommon.
In fact, most sexually experienced teens -- 60% in a recent survey -- say they wish they had waited longer before having sex. That doesn't necessarily mean they wish they'd waited until they got married, or even until they got out of high school. It just means that, if they had it to do over again, they would have waited longer than they did.
Why? Why do people so often regret their first sexual experiences? Is it because the guy or girl they did it with wasn't as nice or caring or cool as originally thought? Is it because once you have sex, you realize that there's no grand secret behind it all and that maybe waiting a little longer is a better idea than you thought? Is it because when you do break up with that first person, it hurts so much that you're full of sadness and regret for everything you did together, including the sex? Is it because of serious life-altering consequences like pregnancy and disease? Or is it something else?
Tell us what you think in the comments! And for more to talk about from this episode -- including thinking about sex 20 hours a day (Ben), new rules about having sex when your parents are home (Adrian), and glamorizing teen pregnancy (Amy) -- check out our discussion guide.
- The Secret Life of the American Teenager blog
- Login or register to post comments
related blog posts
 |
'secret life' is coming b11/18/09Look for an all-new episode on Monday, January 4. Comments: 24 |
 |
you did it! now do it aga11/10/09Vote for "Secret Life" as your "TV Obsession" in the 2009 People's Choice Awards. Comments: 10 |
 |
hear the strange familiar10/28/09Ring in the holidays with "Songs to Celebrate 25 Days of Christmas." Comments: 2 |
 |
help get 'secret life' in10/21/09Want to help your fave show win the Favorite TV Obsession category? Here's how! Comments: 12 |
 |
when's 'secret life' comi10/15/09Now we know! Look for all-new episodes starting January 4. Comments: 51 |
- 1 of 89
- ››
Jack was trying to stop her in the beginning by asking her if its for sure and saying that its not a great idea.
~ Amy Jeurgens, You are the most beautiful , Most frustrating girl in the world ~
Why did you make Amy such a [filtered word] this season? I don't know any teenagers that would talk to their parents the way they do on this show. The surely wouldn't tell them they just had sex. You need to get realsitic.
I think Grace shouldn't have been mad at Jack for not saying no to having sex because if he would have said no, grace would be mad at him because he had sex with other girls but not her soooooooooooooooo....................
Olivia
i think grace should get over herself if shes a good christian she should know that adrian or anyone else who had sex before marriage would have lost their dads first but no her dad died because it was his time she had no affect
:
(
Commenter knows
i know grace is REALLY upset that her dad died but she really needs to get over herself
Look at Molly Ringwald (Anne) on the cover of Fit Pregnancy! She's so pretty!
~Proud mommy of Xavier Sebastian, born 8/13/08~
Ricky to Amy- "When everything else is bad in our lives, at least we've got him."
Okay, so Grace shouldn't think that she killer her father for having sex. She didn't. They were just in a disagreement and she was in a hurry to have sex with Jack. She is VERY upset. its only been a few days since her father passed away even though its been weeks for us. Grace claims to HATE Jack but i doubt that she hates Jack. She is just upset. i hope her and Jack work things out and that Grace will grow strong though this. OMG! i love watching this show, its so intriguing.
The couple people below are terrible for insulting Grace that way. She JUST lost her father, and she's trying to find a reason as to why he father was killed. To her, blaming herself seemed most logical. In her own time she will realize that she didn't kill her father.
And to the person saying they're tired of Grace moping around? These 3 episodes of the season may have been a time frame of 3 weeks for us, but for Secret Life, the time frame was in 3 days or less. It takes a long time to get over losing someone you love.
icon credit: xChorusOfAngelsx
she need to get over it she dont kill her dad by having sex poeple have sex all da time and there dads dont die she needs to grow up bc she loves jack and mybe they shuold of waited bt they didnt so she need to get over it
I think it is a horrible day when the create a show that one glorifies immorality and having sex before marriage anytime and especially at 15. I also think that if their goal like they say at the end of every show is to not have sex, then they shouldn't air a preacher or priest that young ones look up to saying that its not always bad to have sex before marriage when the bible clearly states that it is for a marriage arrangement. How is that helping young ones today? And people wonder why there are so many STD'S, unwanted pregnancys and abortions today. Seriously this is a disgrace to Television. We already have to hear all the bad things on the news now they are airing that it's ok to have sex and a baby in High School. This show should be terminated
i agree with everything you said except the terminate the show part.... i'm hoping abcfamily will change it back to the way they had it in the first season when things werent only about sex.
Secret Life Obsessed!
Ok. Grace seriously needs to get over herself! its pathetic. Her dad dies & she ends up making the whole thing about herself....how friggin selfish...
Yeah her & jake had sex...this is just a way of showing that they actually really werent ready..i dont think they were at all...but god aint punishing her cuz she did it...thats just stupid..
Grace is being a annoying little baby..about the whole thing..& its getting really old..
It doesnt even seem like shes sad about her dad..shes just worried about HER and HER reputation...and what people think of HER....GET OVER IT. Grow up...
SAM-*
Yep i totally agree she is making it about herself i think just to make people want to come visit her and talk about her more like at the funeral she didnt want to get out the car so she had everyone waiting for her making the situation about her and not her dad she really is just being selfish and trying to make people feel sorry for her. which is kind of bad on her case because people are just going to get annoyed and not even care about her and when she finally decides to go back to school when all her dramas over people probably are just going to start rumors that she had sex with jack and her dad died blahh blahh blahh and its just going to be more drama on her hands so Grace should just get over herself .
always in love:)
Grace...GET OVER IT! YES IT'S SAD YOUR DAD DIED. BUT I MISS THE NICE GRACE AND IM SICK AND TIRED OF THE MOPEY GRACE. SEX AND DEATH ARE NOT RELATED. SEX AND PREGNANCY ARE RELATED. (look at Amy) YOUR DAD DIDN'T DIE FROM YOUR MISTAKE. SO GET OVER IT AND STOP HURTING YOURSELF AND EVERY ONE AROUND YOU!!! (Also, its really bad how your hurting Jack. just stop it.) I think your Dad would be embarised by your bevavior. Move forward for him.
Another possibility, that wasn't mentioned in the post, is the quality of the sex. Grace talks about how great it was and it appears that if her father had come home, she would not have regretted her decision. Amy, on the other hand, had awful sex and got pregnant. Even if she hadn't gotten pregnant, she may have regretted the encounter, simply due to the quality of the sex.
In addition, Amy's encounter was spontaneous. She had neither contraceptives nor emotional preparation. Many people, due partly, I believe, to their parents disapproval, seem to have sex hastily, in less than ideal locations or circumstances, and this could greatly contribute to dissatisfaction with their first sexual encounter.
Grace prepared, planned, and educated herself before having sex. This likely led to better intercourse.
Being in the 40%, I can only guess at why people have those regrets.
and i'm really annoyed how this show is starting to mock christianity and be ALL ABOUT SEX.
get real abcFAMILY, make this show the way it used to be... appropriate
Secret Life Obsessed!
and i'm really annoyed how this show is starting to mock christianity and be ALL ABOUT SEX.
get real abcFAMILY, make this show the way it used to be... appropriate
Secret Life Obsessed!
Okay Grace needs to get over it. She's being a real [filtered word] if she's gonna put Jack out of her life. Grace was the one that wanted to have sex not Jack! He never forced her.
Amy+Ricky+John=Happy Family Forever <3
I want Grace to get pregnant!
Plus it wasn't her fault her father died because she had sex!
it has nothing to do with her having sex!
The plane crashed because there was something wrong with the plane and she had sex!
And Grace is a horrible actress! Her brother is a better actress.
Plus i think her mom in the show looks just like her and they can be relative in real life
~Ariel~ ♥
I think shes going through alot of emotions. I lost my 16 year old brother 4 years ago. I went through alot of guilt that maybe i could ve stopped it somehow. Its just her way of grieving. Its sooo hard to loose someone so close. Now my 11month old son wont have an Uncle and it killes me! My brothers name was Shawn Nipper 1/23/89-11/26/05. me and my mom was on 20/20 right after it happened and about a year later we were on The Montell Williams show in NY about my brother. I understand what Grace is feeling.
~Proud mommy of Xavier Sebastian, born 8/13/08~
Ricky to Amy- "When everything else is bad in our lives, at least we've got him."
So sorry about your brother
He seemed like real nice kid
~SeCrEt LiFe AdDiCt~
Don't Charge Me For the Crime
"I doubt God punishes people nearly as much as people punish eachother and themselves"~ Anne
R.I.P Michael Jackson
MoonWalk to the sky, man!
Thanks, He was.
~Proud mommy of Xavier Sebastian, born 8/13/08~
Ricky to Amy- "When everything else is bad in our lives, at least we've got him."
i d0nt think its bad thah grace had sex.
i h0nstly d0nt
and she didnt kill her dad!! get 0ver iht
i s0und really mean buht y0u didnt kill y0ur dad y0u had sex geht 0ver iht G0D!!
and i d0nt think amy andben shood be t0gether ..
ben says he l0ves her buht he d0esnt he rushed int0 a relati0nship he th0ught he was ready f0r buht hes n0t.... he jussst wants sex
and its startinq to irritate me
i l0VE SECREt LifE BRUhh!<3
then yeah did she have sex with him in the first place
~Team Amy and Ricky~
i have to say i'm very disappointed in the secret life of the amercian teenager. not only does your show appear to be weak on christian perspective, it waters down the core beliefs of it. why are you mocking christianty? why are trying to make it look like a farce to the world? this serious misrepresentation is appalling. a preacher telling a teenager it's ok to have premarital sex? the teenager herself being so weak and without merit she did it against her beliefs. Then after to believe some superstitious nonsense? i say stop making a mockery of religion in the one country where we actually have freedom of religious beliefs.
I watched a bunch of the very first episodes of secret life last night, and it made me sad.
because amy was so much nicer and caring, and everything was just more simple then.
now they keep adding stupid stuff and changing all the characters and it [filtered word].
i was starting to hate ben because i forgot how much i actually liked him,
watching those first episodes helped me realize that he is sweet, and actually funny, and cares about amy nd john.
remember in the first episodes when she wants to marry ben and have him help with the baby? now she has completely changed and become so harsh to everyone!
i hope that the show will kinda of change views back to how they used to be because im dissapointed.
Secret Life Obsessed!
i dont agree with anything you're saying.First of all Amy was nicer because she didnt have John yet she wasnt stressed or cranky from school and staying up having to care for him,would you rather she was skipping down the halls humming all time? I doubt it because the show would really suck because then it wouldnt be realistic having the new teen mother like that. Second the characters arent really changing, they're evolving if they stayed the same as last season it would be really stupid and boring.Lastly if dramas stayed simple who do you think would really watch because i sure wouldnt.Thats all i have to say lol.
O i know! I miss how Amy and Ben used to be
I wish they would go back to the way they were 2
They were soooo sweet!
~SeCrEt LiFe AdDiCt~
Don't Charge Me For the Crime
"I doubt God punishes people nearly as much as people punish eachother and themselves"~ Anne
R.I.P Michael Jackson
MoonWalk to the sky, man!
I think I'm about the only person in the world that thinks amy and ben should be together.
Because i think really why everyone wants amy and ricky together, is because ricky is hot.
Who cares if ben isnt hot, he puts up with all amy's crap.
No, that isn't why a lot of people want Amy and Ricky to be together. I want Amy and Ricky to be together because Ben is extremely annoying, and he says he loves Amy without meaning it. It's easy to tell he does not love her. Remember why he wanted to go out with her? He just wanted to get laid. And he STILL wants to get laid. Sure, I guess he developed feelings for her, but he DOES NOT love her. I know Ricky is always on and off with Adrian and he doesn't love Amy either, or anyone else for that matter. But, he's a changed person, and he is trying very hard to be all that he can be. He's there for his son, and he's very responsible as a father. He's also there for Amy, even though they aren't together (yet). That's basically why some people think Amy and Ricky is a better choice. Ben and Amy have lost what they had, and I don't really think they're going to get what they had back. They're growing apart, and soon they will be completely apart. (Once Ben messes up again, of course.)
I totally agree with you livelaughlove_ btw love the name lol anyway i think i know what Ben does to majorly mess up his relationship with Amy, I read on wikipedia which is always true
,that Ben has sex with Adrien and she gets pregnant idk if she keeps it though
Thats true. Thats what I liked about Ben at first. He was always there for Amy when she needed him. He really cared about her, but now all he wants is sex!
Theyre pretty much not even a couple anymore. Anything he does for her is out of competetion with Ricky.
~SeCrEt LiFe AdDiCt~
Don't Charge Me For the Crime
"I doubt God punishes people nearly as much as people punish eachother and themselves"~ Anne
R.I.P Michael Jackson
MoonWalk to the sky, man!
I think its pretty much normal for guys Ben's age to think about sex all time. I know guys in my class joke about sex like 24/7!!! lol. But I think Ben is OBSSESSED with having sex and thats where it becomes a problem. I think the only reason he wants to have sex is becuz everyone else is. Once he does have sex for the 1st time he's gonna regret it big time...Just like almost everyone else. The only 2 that dont regret sex with eachother is Ricky and Adrian. But I bet Ricky regrets having sex with Amy and Adrain regrets having sex with Jack.
this show is soooo messed up but I love it!
~SeCrEt LiFe AdDiCt~
Don't Charge Me For the Crime
"I doubt God punishes people nearly as much as people punish eachother and themselves"~ Anne
R.I.P Michael Jackson
MoonWalk to the sky, man!
I think in this sneak peek Amy was nicer to her mom than other times. I also think Grace is being a JERK, because she should make her mom feel better not worse. I mean her husband died and now she has to worry about Grace. GRACE IT WASNT UR FAULT!!
Leah Haubrenizer
I think Jack and Grace should have waited just as emilychica1027 said they just weren't ready Grace thought if she " did it" w/ Jack then she would own his heart but that is just not possible. Grace you did not kill your dad it was his time to leave this earth so stop blaming yourself quit beating yourself up 4 it!
Ben I don't understand why you think about sex 20hrs. a day it's ridiculous. Amy just had a baby no wonder she dosen't want to have sex w/ u John is what 5 months old Amy dosen't need another baby @ 15 yrs. old she was way to young to have John anyway and 2 babies in 1 yr. that sure is alot to handle for a teenage mother don't ya think. I know what you would want to name the baby Ben jr. or Leo jr. it's just not gonna happen SORRY!!!!!
(
(
AMY+RICKY=L4EVER (
BEN+ADRIAN=L4EVER
RICKY+JOHN+AMY=L4EVER
LEO+BETTY=L4EVER
GRACE+JACK=L4EVER
ANNE+DAVID=L4EVER
magen wilford
I love how real this show is. I think having all of the problems they do makes it a very popular show. Although i do not like how Ann is prego, Amy's position of not being able to do regular things and being up at 4 in the morning are just 2 of the reality of being a new mother in high school.
Ok so about the ben thinking about sex 20 hours a day...I know a lot of guys may think that and thinking it is ok but asking your girlfriend who just gave birth to a son that's not even yours is not something he should be doing...amy most likely won't think about sex for awhile
wow so i know that grace thinks thats its all her fault that her dad died BUT seriously it makes noo sense!! everyone dies eventually and for some reason it was her dads time! and its dumb that all she can do is blame herself and jack who did absolutely nothing to her!! And shes the one that says you can be forgiven by god and now shes like god punished me just like god punished amy!! WTH? i can't believe she actually said that to amy cause i woulda smacked her sooo hard!! while i was watching the last episode i new grace was upset but it was her moms husband, she loved him more than anything!! and she was like yeah well my mom can get a new husband i can never get a new father! that was horrible
im glade ricky told her to get her as$ outta that car cause i would of done the exact same thing!! everyone feels differently about sex and some people don't do it before their married and others do, and i mean your aloud to change your mind....YOU CONTROL YOUR OWN LIFE!! grace was completely sure about having sex before her dad died and they love each other and they were careful, and god did NOT punish her!
♥♥Ricky&Amy♥♥Jack&Grace♥♥
"god please help adrian because shes a b|tch!"
I feel like Grace really needs to get over it. I mean yeah her dad died...it's horrible but she knows she did not kill her father. i can't beleive she told Amy that john was a punishment for having sex. Amy had sex...got pregnant...duh that is a chance of having sex. Grave loves sex..and she is upset because she enjoyed it so much so she assumes God killed her dad? I mean she really is being a hypocrite...I totally agree with Ricky 100% when he was in the car with her. So i mean idk..so far the season has been really exciting..and a little boring at the same time. but I feel like they are focusing it so much on Grace when it is supposed to be about Amy and how teenage mothers deal with it.
Amy+Ricky
Adrian+Ben
Anne+George
Loralie+Luke
Grace+Jack
"god please help Adrian, because she's a b!tch!" -grace [fav grace line]
"this could be the start to something big" -ricky
~good luck to Mia Frampton in Make it or Break it! I love you Mi
No it is a fact that Grace didn't kill her father..at the moment she is just being superstitious, but hopefully she'll learn that she did not kill her father and get over it.
Good girl Amy + Bad boy Ricky = Sweet-Hot Romance!!!
She didnt kill her father. After reading all the comments, I kinda forgot what half of the thing said, lol.
Save Kyle XY!!!!
Kyle and Amanda<3
I<3 Kyle XY
I think shes going through alot of emotions. I lost my 16 year old brother 4 years ago. I went through alot of guilt that maybe i could ve stopped it somehow. Its just her way of grieving. Its sooo hard to loose someone so close. Now my 11month old son wont have an Uncle and it killes me! My brothers name was Shawn Nipper 1/23/89-11/26/05. me and my mom was on 20/20 right after it happened and about a year later we were on The Montell Williams show in NY about my brother. I understand what Grace is feeling.
~Proud mommy of Xavier Sebastian, born 8/13/08~
Ricky to Amy- "When everything else is bad in our lives, at least we've got him."
I'm sory about the death of your older brother.
Save Kyle XY!!!!
Kyle and Amanda<3
I<3 Kyle XY
Thanks, he was actually my younger brother. I was 19 when it happened. I'll be 23 in a month.
~Proud mommy of Xavier Sebastian, born 8/13/08~
Ricky to Amy- "When everything else is bad in our lives, at least we've got him."
aww... thats so sad
.. howw did he diee??
<3 secret lifee
he died of car surfing, he was laying on top of his friends car on a 20 mph road and his friend did 50 mph and took a turn that threw my brother off ther car. the driver later lied and said my brother jumped out of the back of the car. the driver and passenger never got out of the car to check on my brother. they just let him lay there and die.
~Proud mommy of Xavier Sebastian, born 8/13/08~
Ricky to Amy- "When everything else is bad in our lives, at least we've got him."
I can't speak from experience, but I'd imagine it's because teens realize there is no big secret behind sex so why not wait until you can make it really special, or until you are mature enough to handle all the emotional baggage that comes with having sex. I'd also think the person you first have sex with would make a HUGE difference. Just my two cents.
ok so we know anne's baby isn't her boyfriend davids....IF george didnt get fixed or it didnt work it could be his ...BUT it could also be the guy anne slept with that she ran into at the airport in chicago that she knew from high school...to get back at george...that she told george bout after they slept together....and whats with amy being so bitchy to ashley....still hope it george's baby though
Grace & Jack belong together and they'll end up together
I think Grace loves Jack and they should have waited, but they were responsible. Grace is just pushing everyone away because hello-she just lost a parent. But after that a** kicking speech Ricky gave (you rock Ricky!!!), Grace is starting to realize it is not her fault. Once she is sure of that, she will realize she does love Jack a lot and she will go to him. She just needs time. But Jack better stay around and realize that even though she seems sure that she doesn't love him, she really does.
~Live 4 Dancing~