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we're doing something different
Am I the only one????
Posted Tue, 10/14/2008 - 01:36 — pecantanqteewho cannot stand Ben's character. I've read comments on how y'all think its so "cute" how he and Amy are " in love" each other and want to get married...give me a break! Granted his character is only 15...but he is already exhibiting what I like to call "red flag behavior":
1. uses emotional tactics to get his way (pouting when Amy wanted to talk to her gfs)
2. constant checking up on gf
3. falling "in love" or professing "love" very early in relationship
4. making decisions without consultation
5. uses pressure to persuade Amy to do what he wants to do
6. being excessively clingy
Young ladies...don't be disillusioned into thinking that this is "love" or being "in love"...this is simply a young man that is insecure and needs to be controlling. He is a different type of abuser, he might not ever hit Amy...simply because we saw he is definitely not a fighter...but he is way too daggone emotional...even for a 15 yo. I think young boys and girls want to be "in love" without really understanding what "love" truly is. I'm 36, and I JUST found what I consider to be "true love".
I LOVE BEN && I HATE RICKY
elliot: i'd give you a kidney
olivia: not if i gave you mine first
♥ <3 elliot and olivia forever<3 ♥
~lexi
I HATE BEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would like it sooooooooooooo much better if Amy and Ricky where dating because that would mke things more normal for the baby. How many people do You know who are married or got married at 15 years old? I think it's rediculos that Ben would even THINK of asking Amy to marry him considering her current state of being ( ya know... pregnant). He is way to clingy, 'fell in love' with Amy way too early, get upset when Amy wants to just TALK to her best friends who she's know way longer than she's known Ben. I mean she probably didn't even know he ecxisted until he talked to her in the hallway in the first episode. Not to mention that Amy is really sick of his behavior when she tries to leave after just like saying 'hi' to him in the hallway. He needs to get over himself and realize that Amy cares about other people NOT just him. He can't even accept the fact that Amy might care aout Ricky even though he's the father of her unborn baby, and he is just her boyfriend.
(p.s sorry it's so long i really been wanting to complain to sone one about ben)
I'm really sorry, but I hate it when people rag on Ben like that. Yes, he is clingy, yes, he can get in the way of Amy's life outside of him, but he lost his mother. He hasn't a girl in his life since then (five years ago, I believe), and he wants to keep the girl he loves in his life. He is probably terrified of losing her like he lost his mom. And yes, I do believe he loves Amy. He is fifteen years old, dating someone who is pregnant with another guy's baby, and is STILL with her! If a fifteen year old sticking with his girlfriend who is pregnant by another can't be considered love, then I don't know what it is. He is even willing to marry her, for crying out loud! Not that I think it's a good idea, because I don't. But in the episode where he left that really sweet message for Amy on her cell, he said he'd wait a whole lifetime for her to marry him if he had to. And the fact is, that some guys out there really are like Ben, Not very many guys, but there genuinely sweet guys out there like him. So please, just give him a break.
P.S. Just because Ricky is the father of the baby doesn't mean that he and Amy should start dating. Because, quite frankly, I don't think it would be a healthy relationship. All Ricky wants is sex, and Amy probably hates him too much. Not that she should put all the blame on him, but HE was the one with experience. Ricky does, however, have a right to be in his child's life, and Amy is wrong on that account. But remember that genetics don't make someone a father - a mature man who will be there for you no matter what is what makes a good father, and that describes Ben - not Ricky.
he stands up for her though. He is fine. OMG I cannot wait for Amy to have the baby!!! I hope its a girl that be adorable!
"falling in love" is like a really emotional thing so yeah....
make sure you are absulutly sure you love the person before you say you love her and ask her to marry you and spend the rest of your life with her....
you have to be absultly positivly sure....
so yeah....
wow you guys type really really long comments....
make them shorter
Umm, no. Some posts can't be shortened in order to get the message across. Don't be lazy.
"I was electrified by your eyes
as they froze..."
Those are red flags, yes. I am with you. I also found "true love" later with a secure MAN, not an infatuated, hormonal boy.
✝ Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things will be given unto you...✝
I don't think Ben is really "in love" with Amy, but I do think he cares about her very much. All of his somewhat odd behavior goes along with being an awkward teenager with his first girlfriend ever. Ben is only 15, his immaturity shows- as it does with most 15 year old boys.
My dad and I were talking about random things last week and got onto the subject of my love life. He was concerned about me getting to involved with my boyfriend at such a young age- to not get too attached because it may not last. We discussed what being in love really meant, and if you could truly find it that young. He has one of the best definitions of love I've heard. "Love is sitting in a room surrounded by family with your boyfriend (or girlfriend). When one of your family members says something completely ridicules, your boyfriend and yourself look at each other, making the 'did she just say that?' face while holding back laughter and thinking the exact same thing." Of course there are many other factors that go into being in love, but that shows you have a real connection mentally. You also need to be on the same page as to where your future is going, and be completely supportive of what your partner plans on doing with their life- sacrifices need to be made on both sides. These are things most just don't have in high school- Has anyone noticed how relationships fall apart after one or both people go off to college?. Trust, communication, and maturity are other huge must-have factors; all of these usually being an issue when you're young.
My boyfriend and I have all of that. We said "I love you" and really meant it about 3 weeks into dating, and we've been together for over a year- with plans of getting married one day (we would be engaged already if we were a couple years older, we agreed that 20 is way too young for us). We just had that connection from the get-go; we have an astounding number of similarities, and our personalities instantly clicked. So it IS possible to find "true love" early in a relationship, but I think that you need to be at a point in your life where you have some idea of what you want. Like what exactly you want in a relationship(do you share the same expectations as your partner? Do you both want kids, etc), some idea of a career(Would your partner be supportive if you had to relocate as a part of it?), not having expectations set on gaining a fairy tale life (Nobody's perfect, everybody has flaws), etc. When you're in high school, the difference between love and lust becomes clouded and the true meaning of love is lost-- Really, how many people actually marry their high school sweetheart? Not many.
I don't know if all this makes sense to anyone or not, I'm just in a dazed mood to type. So sorry if it seems a little repetitive and thrown together. Anyone else have the nasty bug going around? Everyone around here has been sick; I just caught it last night. Ugh.
"I was electrified by your eyes
as they froze..."
I do agree with you that you need to be at a point in your life where you have some idea of what you want. At age 16 I thought I wanted to be married by age 27 and have at least 2 kids by 32. However, after graduating hs, experiencing college life (for one year) and trying to earn a living those ideas changed. And that is what life is all about. What you love and adore at age 15-18 may not be right for you later on in life....but you have to have experiences in order to know what you truly want and need from a partner. I do commend you and your boyfriend's decision to wait it out. I dated a guy from the age of 20-22 and after a year I was giving him an ultimatum about getting married because I thought that he should know after 12 months of being in a relationship with me if he really wanted to be with me. Thank God we broke up and never got engaged/married! We remained friends even after he got married to and had a baby with another female (who wanted to date him when we were together). During their engagement and after the wedding, he continued to cheat on her. As a husband, he was an absolute dog..but he was a wonderful father to their son. I am now dating a WONDERFUL man who I have so much in common with that the similarities as downright scary (especially about our fathers passing away the same year from the same ailment). We support one another in our pursuits unconditionally, even if it means that we cannot be together (physically) right now. We discuss anything and everything without fear of looking stupid/sounding silly. He is definitely someone that I am in love with and respect and I told him "i love you" three months into the relationship.